Patient With Me
by gremlin2318
Summary: This is an M rated story about how Kensi's injury put her and Deeks' emotional and physical relationship to the test and eventually made it stronger. It takes places over the course of part of Season 8.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Patient With Me

 **Rating:** M – for language, and sexual content

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS LA or the characters. I just enjoy writing about them in this forum.

 **Summary:** This story is a collection of scenes related to the episodes of season 8. The premise is how Kensi's injury in season 8 put her and Deeks' emotional and physical relationships to the test and eventually made them stronger.

 **A/N:** I'm very nervous to post this one, but also excited. As I proofread, I keep thinking of things to add, but I think I just need to let it go. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

* * *

 **Patient With Me**

 _(8x09 Glasnost)_

Her hand in his gives her a glimmer of comfort and hope through all the fear and uncertainty. She wants more, so she carefully unfolds herself, one leg numb from the way she was sitting and the other in a bit of pain. Her hand is still intertwined with his as she crawls onto his lap and plants a kiss on his lips, partly to allay his jealousy of Sullivan and partly to seek more comfort. At first everything feels so good and right, but then she feels a twinge in her leg and she struggles to get her left hand under the hem of his shirt.

"Wait, wait," she breathes pulling away from his kiss and sitting back on his knees. Suddenly she's full of anxiety again. This seems to be her predominant emotion lately. She's scared that her body isn't ready, but she's even more worried she's not emotionally ready. She's been having trouble truly connecting with anybody since she woke up from the coma, even Deeks. There's no doubt that she loves him. He's still her best friend and he's been there every step of the way, but she isn't ready to make love to him until she feels like herself again and she feels like they're more connected as a couple on equal footing instead of him taking care of her.

Deeks can tell she's not ready to go further and doesn't want her to feel bad about it, so he questions, "Didn't the doctor say we should wait?"

"She said she would normally have someone with an injury like mine wait another month, but she's never seen anyone recover as quickly as I am." There is a small amount of pride in Kensi's voice as she recounts the positive Dr. appointment she had the other day.

"I think we should wait," he suggests afraid that if they have sex he could hurt her. He leans forward in invitation for a kiss. She leans in to meet him. "I love you," he whispers after a loving kiss.

"I love you too," she replies as she stands from his lap.

He feels like she's distancing herself from him, which she's been doing a lot lately, so he invites, "Want to watch Walking Dead with me? Or, I think we have some Project Runway episodes on the DVR," he adds thinking the latter may entice her more.

He is right and her face lights up at the mention of Project Runway. He grabs the remote and lies on the couch pressing himself against the back. He pats the space in front of him. After she joins him, he extends the arm that is under her neck out in front of her and prompts, "Last exercise for tonight."

It takes a great deal of concentration and exertion, but she finally intertwines their fingers a second time.

"I'm proud of you," he tells her at a loss for what else to say, and a loss for how else to help her; or rather how else to help both of them know that everything is going to be okay.

She nods her head and gives his hand a little squeeze in acknowledgement.

* * *

 _(8x10 Sirens)_

Deeks and Monty both startle as Kensi bangs through the door. She's still fuming when she reaches the bedroom.

"What's wrong?" Deeks asks concerned about where she has been and why there are a number of empty beer bottles on their counter and table. The last he'd hear from her Sullivan had stopped by and they were taking a walk.

"She made me shoot with my left hand!" she spats angrily as she paces at the foot of their bed. "I can't do it. I'm not ready."

Deeks has learned that he can't tell her she will get there, because there's a possibility that she won't.

"You could let me help you," he tries.

"You don't get it! I don't want help!" she exclaims.

Feeling hurt, useless, and unappreciated he huffs and throws up his hands challenging, "Who does get it? Does Sullivan?" The moment he says it, he regrets it. The pain he sees in her eyes kills him.

"Get out," she growls as the tears she held in on the Uber ride home spill down her cheeks.

"Kens I'm…" he backpedals throwing off the covers and moving down the bed toward her.

"Out!" she screams pointing to the doorway for emphasis.

He grabs his pillow and starts toward the guest bedroom, but as she starts to sob he sinks to the floor right outside their room. He hates that she's crying because of something he said, but a part of him feels like it's good that she's letting all of her anger, frustration, and sadness about what happened to her out in more than a few tears that she quickly wipes away. When the sobs turn to sniffles, he stands and quietly reenters.

"I didn't mean it. I'm frustrated and feel like I'm failing you because I don't know how to help you. Even though I'm happy he's helping you; it has started to bug me that he may be helping you more than I am," Deeks admits somberly from the doorway.

His honest admission dissolves most of her anger toward him.

She sits up on the side of the bed and looks at him with a tear-stained face whispering, "Please don't leave." She knows that even though she voiced a few weeks ago that she shouldn't be taking everything she's going through out on him, sometimes she still is.

"God, no baby, never!" he assures rushing to kneel down in front of her and place a hand on her cheek and the other on her knee. He had no idea people leaving her is a fear she still harbors from her past. Or, he reasons, more likely this fear probably only materialized again after her injury.

"I'm scared Deeks. I'm scared I'm not going to get any better than this, and then what am I going to do?"

"Can I tell you something?" he asks taking her hands in his. She nods. "I was terrified that you weren't going to wake up, or that you would wake up and have such severe injuries that I wouldn't be able to see you like that every day and wouldn't be able to take care of you. I was less scared when we thought you were going to come home in a wheel chair, but I was still pretty frickin' scared about what our life was going to look like. Now, I'm worried about you as my love and as my partner, but you are so strong and no matter what the outcome is, I think together we can figure out a way for you to have a meaningful and happy life. It might not be right away, but we'll get there."

His words help to calm her a bit.

"Can I tell you something?" she asks in return.

"Of course," he says rising to sit beside her on the bed.

"I do have a connection with Sullivan. He gets how hard physical therapy is and how it makes me angry that you get to go to work every day and still have a life." She squeezes his hands hoping he can understand where some of her anger, sadness, and frustration comes from. "Babe, that connection could never compare to what you and I have built. The love and friendship we share mean so much to me; I would never…"

"I know," Deeks interrupts quietly so she doesn't have to finish. He's ashamed he even brought up his jealousy in a moment of frustration.

Kensi continues anyway needing him to know the feelings she hasn't expressed enough lately. "I haven't really been able to show how much our thing means to me lately, but I would never trade or compromise what we have."

"I know," he reassures her as he skims his hand over her back. "Ready for bed?" he asks and expands as he scoots back onto his side of the bed, "because I'm exhausted."

As they lie facing each other a few minutes later after she has gotten ready for bed, he fills her in on the day's case and the new leads on the mole.

"So, no more solo trips to the mission at night," he finishes.

"Deeks, I can take c…"

He cuts her off before she can even finish her declaration. In a more stern and commanding voice than she is used to hearing from him he insists, "Kens, I'm not asking for much. I don't like this mole situation. You need to do this for me."

"Fine," she huffs as she turns over. She gets why he's worried, but she hates that she's not at her best and he actually may have a legitimate reason to ask her to be cautious.

As she gets settled facing away from him, Deeks wonders if they are okay. She eases his worry when she reaches back and pulls his arm around her middle.

* * *

 _(8x11 Tidings We Bring)_

Kensi is still a little tipsy when they arrive home after the office Christmas party. She hasn't had many alcoholic beverages during her recovery, and Nell's eggnog will get anyone feeling pretty good, pretty quickly. She's happier and more relaxed than she has been in months as she brushes her teeth in her snowflake print shorts and tank top pajamas, but she's still anxious about being able to return to the team and what the future holds for her. Will things be the same if or when she returns? Will it feel different? Will she be a different agent? Deeks slides in the bathroom behind her and slips his arms around her middle. He nuzzles her neck. Then, his lips press against the spot that usually spreads a flash of heat to her core. Tonight she feels a little flutter of arousal and turns in his arms and pulls his face to hers to see if she can work up more.

They take their make-out session to the bed, but Deeks can tell she's just going through the motions. He pulls back and sits up.

"What is it baby?" he asks resting a hand on her hip.

She sits up too and pushes her hair back.

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"I need you to talk to me Kens. I know I don't always know the right way to help you through this, but I'm trying."

"It's not you," she assures him. "It's like I don't know how to be me without being an agent. I have so much anxiety about it right now, I almost can't think about anything else."

"What do we need to do? Should we go away for a little while?" he wonders thinking about his and Callen's earlier discussions about vacations.

"No, I want to stay here and keep working at getting back to my life. I think I'm going to need you to be patient with me."

"I can keep that promise," he tries to put her at ease as he leans forward and places a kiss on her forehead. Deja vu hits both thinking back on the first time she asked him to make her this promise.

"I wish I didn't feel so stuck and could get past this," she laments as she gets settled under the covers.

"Be patient with yourself," he offers leaning over to give her a goodnight kiss.

* * *

 _(Deeks' birthday which I have decided to set between Kulinda 8x12 and Hot Water 8x13)_

Deeks returns to the bedroom from his shower with a towel around his waist. He's thinking about the nice day he and Kensi had the day before. Being an unusually warm day for January, Deeks had kissed her head and informed her that he was going surfing as he'd gotten out of bed. "You can come if you want," he'd mentioned casually. She'd declined and burrowed back under the covers, but an hour later she and Monty had shown up at their favorite spot. She didn't get in the water, but when he was done surfing she was the one who suggested they go for a walk. After a lunch of fish tacos they ran some errands and did some shopping. When he'd suggested they go out in downtown LA for a drink and dinner, she'd agreed and put on tight black pants, black boots, and a grey short sleeve sweater top that clung to her curves along with full hair and makeup. They'd had an amazing time. He's not sure if it was just for his birthday or if she is really starting to feel more like herself again, but he hopes it's the latter. He's excited to have his girl back.

Deeks leans over the bed placing a hand on each side of Kensi. He places kisses on her cheek and nuzzles her neck and shoulder to wake her.

"Go away," she mumbles.

"C'mon baby, It's another beautiful day," he encourages undeterred by what he interprets as her usual morning grumpiness.

"I can't believe you are waking me up right now. I was finally actually sleeping," she huffs in frustration as she pushes him away with a hand that has emerged from the blankets.

'Ups and Downs,' Deeks thinks as he apologizes and pulls away trying not to feel too dejected. He realizes now that it wasn't the smartest idea to wake her up. She has been having a lot of trouble sleeping since she's been off pain meds. He quietly tries to make their room as dark as possible and then slips out to take care of Monty and other morning chores.

When Kensi wakes from a foggy sleep 40 minutes later, she checks her phone. She remembers the date and her heart sinks. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she finds Deeks in the living room.

"I am a horrible human being and an even more horrible girlfriend," she apologizes as she kneels next to him on the couch and wraps her arms around his neck. "Happy Birthday Baby!" she adds and kisses his cheek.

"Thank you, and you are not a horrible human being or girlfriend. You're tired and sore and not yourself."

"Well today is going to be about you," she insists. "What do you want to do? Anything," she offers.

Deeks remembers Sam's advice of letting Kensi come to him, but she did say anything, so he requests, "Work out with me, then we'll see where the day takes us."

Two hours later Kensi is in the mission gym on her back with one knee bent and the other leg up in the air as she tries to lift her core. She'd done fine with her right leg on the floor, but now her left leg is giving out with only a few reps to go. Deeks notices her struggling to keep correct form. At first he's just going to slide his hand under her lower back to give her a little support, but at the last moment decides a hand on her butt will be better support and more enjoyable. He hopes the fact that it's his birthday will keep him out of trouble. His hand on her ass almost throws off her rhythm, but with the extra help she easily finishes her set.

"Thanks," she says appreciatively as she rests. "That felt good."

"You're welcome. You look good, strong."

"I wasn't talking about the reps," she flirts looking over at him with the smile he thinks is perfect.

"Hmmm, want to do another set Ms. Blye? I'd be happy to assist," he banters back.

"Oh, ah, ah, ah!" she cries out in response to the pain in her tight back as she turns over.

"What hurts?" Deeks asks concerned quickly moving to her side.

"Back," she replies breathing through it. "It just gets tight sometimes. I'm okay."

He gently rubs her lower back as she stretches.

"This is part of the reason I haven't wanted to work out with you or the guys. You don't like to see me in pain and you baby me," she explains.

"I don't like seeing you in pain, but I'll suck it up and tell you to push through it if we can keep doing this. I miss this."

"So do I," she agrees as she lifts her feet off the ground so her body is in an arched position.

"What's the other part of the reason?" Deeks questions as he begins sit-ups.

"This is still a male dominated profession. I have to be at the top of my game just to be accepted."

"You'll always be accepted here. We all want you back even if you haven't been cleared for fieldwork yet. Your knowledge of crime scenes and forensics and your perspective on cases are invaluable. Would you consider it?" he asks hopefully.

"I've been thinking about it. I think maybe I'm ready." She comes up to her knees and stretches her back some more, then sits on the mat facing Deeks as he finishes his sit-ups.

"Good, now how about a hike, shower and go out to dinner, and then we can go home and get to second base on the couch like we used to before we were all in." He stops his exercise and smiles at her cheekily.

"We never did that," she counters shaking her head.

"Oh, I guess it was only in my imagination," he teases.

"Plus, I think you just got to second base, but maybe if you're lucky you'll get to third tonight birthday boy," she says seductively as she gets up. She goes to him, bends down, and kisses the top of his head before heading over to the bench to grab her bag.

"We don't have to baby. Not until you're ready," he calls after her.

"I know," she says turning back toward him. She adds with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, "but you know I don't like breaking traditions.

* * *

"I'm going to get ready for bed," Kensi tells Deeks after they arrive home from dinner at Deeks' favorite restaurant by the ocean.

"Are you coming back out to watch our Sunday night shows, or..."

She cuts him off. "If you want the other part of your birthday present, meet me in the bedroom in 5 minutes."

The first thing he notices when he enters the bedroom is she's brushing her windblown hair back into place. The second is that she is wearing lingerie, which he hasn't seen on her in months. His mouth goes dry and his penis begins to stiffen at the sight of her.

"You look beautiful!" he tells her as they walk toward each other.

"Thank you," she replies wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing his head down to hers for a kiss.

As they kiss, her hands work their way down until she reaches his waistband. She makes quick work of the button and zipper, and slowly slides the pants to the floor where she helps him step out of them. She skims her hands up and down his legs a few times as she places strategic kisses to his knees and inner thighs before ghosting her lips over his underwear clad package. He jerks at even the light touch grabbing her face and pulling her back up to him. He devours her lips as his hands hold her ass and he presses her against him. She sneaks a hand between them cupping his balls and massaging them for a few seconds before giving his erection a few strokes. One of his hands slides up to cup her breast and begins kneading through the material.

She pushes him back toward the bed and nudges his hand away. "This is just about you birthday boy. No touching," she warns playfully.

Even though he's wondering what she's thinking and feeling, he promised he'd be patient so he lets it go and decides to just enjoy whatever his amazing girlfriend has in store for him.

Once they've made their way to the bed, Kensi strokes him over his underwear a few times before delving her hand inside as they kiss. He keeps his hand on her hip.

Just as he's about to remind her that's it's been awhile and he may not last long, she breaks their kiss to place a few feather light kisses on his chest as she toys with the waistband of his underwear. When she pulls them down, an impressive erection pops free making her smile at the feeling of what she can do to him. She leaves the underwear on the end of the bed and makes the tantalizingly slow trip back up his muscular legs giving a nip to his calf and massaging his thighs. As she licks his balls, he jumps and hisses, "Kens," partly from pleasure and partly because she's not quite where he wants her. His hands dive into her hair as she licks the underside of his penis and then she takes the tip in her mouth and swirls her tongue there.

"Baby," he pleads straining to go at her pace. With that she slides her mouth all the way down and back up again.

His proclamation of "Oh God baby that's good," spurs her to continue this motion adding gentle use of her teeth every few times to keep it interesting as her hands caress his stomach, hips, and butt. He groans and grunts with pleasure as well as uttering more compliments about what she does to him.

"Baby I'm close," he preps her in case she doesn't want him to cum in her mouth. He didn't need to tell her. She is very attuned to the vibrations and jerking of his body when he is about to explode. Desperate to touch more than her hair and head, he comes in contact with and clutches the hand that had been resting on his stomach.

"Kens, Kens," he pants as the hand that isn't clutching hers fists in her hair. As his body jerks with the force of his release she relaxes her mouth and swallows a little before reaching down for his underwear to take care of the rest as she uses her hand again to give him as much pleasure as she can. When his body stills, she scoots up next to him again.

"Best birthday present ever! Thanks for keeping the tradition going," he says appreciatively as he wraps his arms around her and kisses her forehead.

"My pleasure," she replies stroking his chest.

"Are you sure I can't try to make you feel as good as you just made me feel?" Deeks tries to persuade as his hand slides through her silky hair.

"I haven't shaved in forever and my scars…," She trails off knowing they're lame excuses, especially since Deeks helped her shower and dress from the very first days after she woke up from the coma, and none of her scars are really in the vicinity of her vagina. She's just not quite ready yet.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable?" he asks trailing his fingers over her shoulder and down her arm.

"Mmmm," she ponders as she presses her lips to his shoulder. "Back massage?" she requests since her back is still a bit sore from their workout.

He carefully rolls her away from him so he can get up to get the massage oil. When he returns she is on her stomach and has rolled up her lingerie to just under her boobs in front and lifted it even higher in back. He also notices she is wearing her least sexy pair of underwear.

"Nice granny panties," Deeks teases as he rubs his hands with oil and drips a few drops along her spine. His thumbs work along her spine while the other fingers knead her sides.

"They are to help dissuade you in case I can't keep control of my needs," she explains.

"Not likely," he remarks as his thumbs slip under the underwear to massage the base of her spine. "No pressure, but if you're having needs, why aren't we fulfilling them?"

"I don't know exactly. I guess I'm just not feeling 100% physically or emotionally. And, we're just starting to get our groove back. I think I want to feel like I'm back to where I was before the injury physically and emotionally, and that we're back to where we were, before we make love," she tries to explain why she isn't ready for sex yet even if she doesn't completely understand why herself.

"Again, no pressure, but maybe making love will help us get back to where we were," he suggests.

"Maybe," she replies unsure about what she wants or needs.

She makes appreciative noises for the magic his hands are performing before uttering, "I love you."

"You love my hands," he teases knowingly.

"I do," she agrees fantasizing about those hands working their magic a little higher or a little lower than their current position. Yet, for now, she is content with the contact and connection she is experiencing.

* * *

(8x15 Payback)

If Sullivan weren't already dead, Deeks would kill him. The bruises he sees scattered over his baby's body as she gingerly crawls into bed make him furious, not to mention the fact that the bastard also tased and drugged her. He wants to have her as close as possible. He's dying to bury himself deep within her and forget the madness they've just been through as they bring each other to the brink of ecstasy and then soar. Tonight though, neither of them is physically or emotionally capable of that, so he crawls into bed wrapping his leg over hers and gently settling himself against her with only their underwear between them.

"Is this okay?" he asks softly. He hopes so because he needs her this close to fully believe that she's here and relatively okay. He had been so scared that this time he wasn't going to get her back.

"Yeah," she replies snuggling into his chest and pressing her lips there as her hand reaches up to caress his beard and then skims up to his hair. She needs all of the closeness, security, and comfort she can get after her harrowing day.

* * *

 _(8x 16 Old Tricks)_

Deeks had gotten a text from Kensi to wait by his car, so when he returns from questioning the paramedics he shoots a text back to her telling her where he is parked.

He leans against the Audi until he sees her jogging toward him.

"Guess what, guess what, guess what!" she exclaims jumping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist.

He's taken aback, but recovers quickly. He replies with a big smile, "I'm guessing I have my partner back and I couldn't be happier!" He steals a quick kiss before setting her down. "What's our first assignment?"

"Nursing home," she replies with her arms still around his neck.

"Do we get makeup, wigs, the whole nine-yards?" he jokes. "I kind of want to see what we'll look like in 40 years. You'll still be hot no doubt."

She rolls her eyes. "No Goofball, my grandma, your creepy uncle," she feeds him the cover story they've used before in this type of undercover situation.

* * *

Even though it is a relatively easy day, Kensi can barely keep her eyes open on the way home when they get stuck in traffic. She's fulfilled and satisfied with a good day's work. Deeks cooks them dinner and both couldn't be happier and more relaxed after finally having a normal day. The next few days are filled with research and interviews for open cases, catching Kensi up on a new form that's part of their paper work, Deeks testifying for a case, and plenty of time to work out and have target practice. It's a perfect way for Kens to ease back in and get her feet under her again. With his coaching, she also tries surfing for the first time in 9 months. Not even two weeks after returning to work she catches a stomach bug, which passes quickly. A cold follows, which doesn't pass as quickly. She continues working and training through the cold, and Deeks doesn't have the heart to dissuade her even though she can barely stay up long enough to eat dinner and crashes on the couch or in bed shortly after.

* * *

 _(8x17 Queen Pin)_

"What were you and Eric talking about before?" Kensi inquires when they have a quick moment alone as they grab their wallets and other necessities from their desks to head out on their separate assignments.

"Nothing," Deeks brushes her off. He doesn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"Deeks," she warns thinking he is keeping something from her.

He glances around making sure no one else is in earshot and quietly shares. "He misinterpreted the six times I got up and one time I didn't conversation."

Kensi's eyes go wide as she realizes what Eric thought they were talking about. "Wow! That would be… Wow!" she laughs.

"Hey, I think I was pretty close in Mammoth," he reminds her with a confident swagger as he saunters over to her desk so they can keep this conversation more private.

"That was over like an 18 to 24 hour period, not one session," she challenges stepping in front of him

"No one got dressed during that time," he counters trying to prove that it counts as he invades her personal space.

Kensi sees Nell coming up to them out of the corner of her eye. "I've got to go," she tells him as she raises to her toes to kiss him on the cheek. "You're thinking about going for the 6 times now, aren't you?" she whispers cheekily after seeing that desire filled gleam in his eyes she knows so well.

"Whenever you're ready baby," he replies boldly. He sneaks in a quick peck on the lips, then muses, "It'll take a lot of love and adoration to get to six times."

"I can handle it," she flirts as she steps back. "Be safe," she adds in a more serious tone.

"You too," he responds.

While she is driving to the crime scene with Nell, Kensi mulls over Deeks' comment about needing a lot of love and adoration. She comes to the realization that she has felt adored and loved even in her darkest moments these last few months because Deeks was constantly there for her, taking care of her, and telling her how much he loves her. It occurs to her that she hasn't been there enough for him in these past few months. Much of her affection, both voiced and physical, has been given in return for his affection. She makes a vow to herself to do better because he deserves better. Suddenly she is anxious to see him again to make sure he knows how much she loves and adores him.

* * *

(8x18 Get Away)

Kensi banged up the camper so bad they can't drive it home on the freeway. Hetty makes them wait for the tow truck with the camper. Since Deeks has already built her a fire, Kensi doesn't mind a bit. She and Deeks sit side by side on the bench of a picnic table they have pulled over to their fire. Kensi carefully roasts the first marshmallow in order to make Deeks the perfect S'more. Then she makes one for herself as the sky darkens.

"I'm glad we got stuck out here. It's on my bucket list to spend a night under the stars with you," she shares giving him a light nudge in the side and holding out the S'more she just made for herself in a 'Cheers' motion. Deeks bumps his S'more to hers before taking another bite.

"You okay?" Deeks asks after she is quiet for a little while.

"Sam, Callen, and I were talking about bucket lists the day we left for Syria," she explains where her mind has been for the past few minutes.

"We'll be checking off another one soon," he comments trying to distract her from dwelling on the fact that she almost died before completing many of the items on her bucket list. He knows getting married is one of the high priority items on her list and he can't wait to make that dream come true for both of them.

"I can't wait," she lovingly echoes his thoughts leaning in for a sticky, marshmallow kiss. When he finishes his S'more, he checks his phone and finds out from Hetty that the tow truck will be at least another hour. He goes to the camper and pulls out a couple blankets. He layers two on the ground for extra cushion and holds onto one requesting, "Come lay with me under the stars."

Kensi smiles and builds up their fire a bit before going to settle herself on the blankets. He joins her pulling a blanket over them. Kens takes a deep breath of piney air as she moves to use his shoulder as a pillow. "This is perfect," she exhales.

"I guess the woods aren't so bad when you're here," Deeks admits trailing his fingers up her back and back down again.

"Awe, baby," she gushes touched by his words.

"You are going to protect me if something comes out of those woods right?" he questions still wary.

She laughs, "Yes, of course." She lifts her head and scoots up to kiss him. That kiss turns into a second one, and then another. Suddenly he is rolling her on top of him and his hands are under her shirt. She moans as their tongues tangle and he slides his knee up between her legs.

"Baby," he breathes as she rolls her hips against him. He brings one hand up to her hair as the other travels down to her bottom and he shifts her over a bit so his growing erection is pressing against her center. Even through their clothes he can feel her heat and he is starting to go crazy with need. He knows he needs to check in with her before they go any further. "Kens, you want to do this, or wait?" He can't believe he's asking this, but he's second guessing making love for the first time since her injury on the ground in the woods where a bug could bite their private parts.

"Mmmm," she groans kissing him again. "I want to, but I really don't want to be in the middle of sex when the tow truck gets here. I want to be able to savor every kiss and touch."

"Me too," he agrees. "And, I really don't want to be that couple that gets mauled by a bear while having sex," he quips making her laugh.

* * *

 _(8x19 767)_

"Do we have time?" Kensi asks conspiratorially when they reach the top of the stairs.

"Time to work out," he teases. "Sure, we have time for that."

"Deeks," she chides lightly as she picks up her pace. She's trying to get out of the building before Hetty can change her mind or a new case pops up.

"Texting Kat and Mandy now to see if one of them can pick the Tiffanys up at the airport. That should give us a few hours," Deeks replies moving at a more leisurely pace as he texts and maneuvers the stairs at the same time.

"You are..the most.. perfect boyfriend," she commends emphatically pausing for emphasis after every two words as she turns to wait for him at the bottom of the stairs.

"Not perfect by a long shot, just doing my best," he responds unable to take such a high compliment.

"Pretty damn close," Kensi insists wishing he could see and believe in what a good man he truly is. "Oh, and don't worry, it will be a workout," she informs him in seductive tone full of innuendo as she turns and heads down the tunnel toward the door.

"Oh girl!" he exclaims hurrying to catch up.

"I'll Drive," Deeks insists when they arrive at the car.

She is okay with him driving home, and is even more okay with it when she discovers his motives once they are on the freeway and his right hand makes its way over to her thigh. He begins lightly stroking the top, but quickly makes his way to the inner portion. She feels him drawing shapes there. First a circle, then a triangle, and last a heart closest to her core.

"I'm enjoying this very much, but it isn't necessary. I've been wet on and off all day," she reveals smiling over at him.

This statement makes him gulp with anticipation and his penis takes notice and begins to come to life.

"I had to tease you and try to be mad at you over ruining the surprise girls' weekend in order to keep from jumping you," she continues talking seeing that it is turning him on. She also unbuttons and unzips her jeans to help both of them continue on the road to arousal.

He doesn't hesitate at the invitation and slides his fingers in until he finds her wet center. He begins to stroke her through her underwear.

Her eyes close and she trembles at his touch. As he moves his fingers against her, she leans over to kiss his bicep since it is the only place she can reach with his hand so far down her pants.

"Deeks," she sighs as he curls his fingers upward. She's missed his touch more than she even knew.

"You okay?" he checks.

"Oh yeah," she responds leaning back in her seat to give him more access. She pushes her pelvis against him so that his palm is rubbing against her clit as his fingers continue to stroke her.

"More baby," she requests. He glances over and is mesmerized by the look of rapture on her face. He knows it's a bad idea, but he can't say no to that request. At first he tries to just push her underwear aside, but her underwear and jeans restrict his mobility. He retracts his hand eliciting a whine from his Sugarbear, but he quickly relieves her wanting as he feels his way back in from the top while keeping his eyes on the road.

He parts her folds and his fingers slide into her juices.

"You're so wet Darlin'" His voice is low and husky with desire as he slides his fingers against her pussy and the erection in his pants becomes uncomfortable.

"I need...you...so much," The declaration is broken up by noises of pleasure. This causes Deeks to take his eyes off the road for a minute to watch how much she is enjoying this, and when he turns back he has to make a quick stop.

"You're going to have to wait a few minutes," he tells her stroking her one more time before removing his hand. He doesn't want to get them killed, and he doesn't want her first orgasm in months to be in their car on the freeway.

As he sucks her juices from his fingers, she grumbles mirthfully, "You're such a tease."

At home Kensi comes up behind Deeks who is outside with Monty. She wraps her arms around him and her hands find their way under his shirt as she kisses his shoulder and back. She strokes his abs before her hands roam upward. When she comes across a nipple she rolls it between her thumb and finger and then pinches gently. Her hands slowly make their way back down. She grazes her fingers over the front of his jeans.

"Monty, Let's go!" Deeks yells. "Or your parents are going to get arrested for indecent exposure," he adds in his normal volume making Kensi chuckle.

Once inside, Deeks pulls her into a passionate kiss. By the time they reach the bedroom she is shimmying out of the jeans she never bothered to zip and button after the car. She is free of the jeans, and they have also freed Deeks from his shirt by the time they reach the bed. They lie side by side kissing and lightly caressing more innocent body parts trying to slow things down for a minute or two.

Deeks plans to let Kensi lead them because he wants her to feel comfortable and in control of everything they do. It doesn't take her long. She hooks a leg over his and rolls them so she is on top. She leans down to rejoin their mouths as his hands slide under her shirt to caress her back. As her tongue delves into his mouth, she grinds down on him. He unhooks her bra as he captures her top lip between his. She pushes off of him enough for him to peel her shirt up and over her head, and to remove her bra. When he spreads both hands over her abdomen, she sits up even further. As his hands slide up her body and he fills them with her breasts, her eyes close and her breath hitches. He kneads her flesh, and in response she rolls her hips again. He sits up with her in his lap and bends to take one of her breasts into his mouth, while his hand still teases the other. Her fingers lightly scratch his back and she kisses the top of his head as she holds him to her. Their torsos rock together as words like, "Oh baby, feels good, and love you," pass between them.

Kensi's underwear are so wet they are uncomfortable, and Deeks' fly, which provided nice friction at first, now hurts.

"I want to be naked with you now," Kensi declares detaching his face from her breast and bringing his lips to hers for a kiss.

"I can make that happen," he promises smiling as he pushes her panties down her hips.

They remove their remaining clothes and return to the bed. She climbs on top of him again and joins both of their hands on either side of his head while she holds her body over his. The only parts touching are their hands and her knees barely brushing against his sides. He's trying to focus on her face, but he has a great view of everything and there are so many places he wants to touch and taste.

"I love you," she proclaims before leaning down to kiss him with all the love she has for him.

"I love you too," he adores between kisses as she lowers herself to him and straightens her legs so their bodies are touching at every point possible.

"Before we do this, I want you to know how happy I am to be here with you and that I never would have made it through this without you," she shares tenderly then places an equally tender kiss on his lips.

"I love you so much Kens. I'm thankful every day," he responds with equal emotion as he squeezes her hand.

"Ready?" she asks with a smile knowing they are both aching with need.

"So ready," he agrees as she sits up and scoots herself back. She has to let go of one of his hands to grab his erection and help guide him to her entrance. His free hand strokes her thigh as she lets his penis tease her opening.

"Baby," he appeals.

"Can I help you with something?" she teases as she slides down a little and then rises so he nearly slides out of her again.

"You are in so much trouble the next time we do this," he playfully warns as she slides down a little further and back up again squeezing her muscles around him as the hand that was caressing her thigh begins to rub her clit.

"Is that a promise?" she whispers seductively as she slides all the way down on him.

Deeks grunts and bucks up at the feel of her completely surrounding him.

"Ahh," she cries out.

"You okay," he asks concerned.

"Good," she responds shuddering. "Feels good." She demonstrates by rising and falling faster. She does this a few more times and he begins rising to meet her. They easily find a rhythm and when he begins rubbing circles on her clit again, she feels herself start to go. "Not yet," she tells him as she stops moving and takes his hand in hers again. He sits up still inside of her. He helps her rise and fall a few times as they kiss.

"So good," he murmurs against her neck.

"Too good," she replies feeling like neither of them will last much longer. "Let's change positions."

"Ladies choice," he insists as she rises off of him leaving them both feeling bereft for the moment.

As she reaches for a pillow and fluffs it, he kisses her shoulder and compliments, "so beautiful."

She lays the pillow in the middle of their bed and places her butt on it so her hips are raised a bit. She opens her legs and arms to him. Deeks is dying to take her then and there, but he surprises her by moving to her knees. He kisses the top of one and moves up her leg alternating where he places the kisses, some on top, some inside, and some outside. Deciding not to wait until next time for his tantalizing payback, he skips over the place she wants him and moves down the other leg to her other knee before jumping back up and burying himself between her legs. His tongue dives in lapping up the wetness as she whimpers and trembles.

Then, suddenly he's there pushing himself into her waiting opening. Her hands make their way to his ass and she helps guide him all the way in as she wraps her legs around him. As they kiss her hands travel up to his hair. He holds himself up on his forearms and moves out before gliding back in. Kensi begins thrusting her hips up to meet him. They're both grunting and moaning along with encouraging each other as they move faster and harder.

"Baby! That's it! Almost there!"

"Deeks! More! Right there! Oh Yes!"

"Yes baby! So good! Oh Kens! Baby!"

"Oh God! Yes! Deeks! Baby! Oh, uh, uh," Kensi spasms around him as her legs clench his waist and her nails dig into his shoulders.

Her spasming walls and loving gibberish of "Feels amazing! Come with me! Fill me baby!" bring him to his own release after a few more quick strokes within her.

When Deeks returns to his body he realizes his head has dropped to Kensi's shoulder, her fingers gently glide up and down his back, and she is still having small spasms around him.

Deeks raises his head. "Love you," is all he can get out before their lips are magnetically drawn to each other.

"Stay," she insists when he tries to move off of her.

As she rolls her hips he realizes that she needs more and may have a second orgasm ready to go already.

"Here," he says lifting her leg over his as he rolls them onto their sides. He manages not to slip completely out of her and he pushes back in as far as he can in this position as he reaches a hand in to stimulate her clit. It only takes a few seconds of kissing, rocking, touching, and caressing before she's shattering around him again. The second climax isn't as strong as the first, but it's enough to make her loose consciousness of everything except for the waves of pleasure for a few seconds.

When she opens her eyes, she is gazing into the eyes of her love and best friend. Suddenly she feels silly for having waited so long for this. He slides out of her, but keeps his arm wrapped around her holding her close.

"Thank you for being patient with me. I love you," she says caressing his bicep. She's truly grateful for this and everything else he has done for her.

"It was worth the wait," he assures her.

"I'm excited to see the girls, but I really don't want to get out of this bed and get dressed," she laments her dilemma.

"I'm sure we'll find some time to get naked this weekend," he reassures her sliding his hand to her hip. "By the way, I think that is one of the sexiest things you've ever said to me," he comments referring to her earlier declaration about wanting to be naked with him.

"Hmmm, I thought the sexiest thing was when I call you my sex machine," she counters as she begins to stroke the engine of the sex machine.

"Yup, yup, that's pretty sexy too," he agrees as the sex machine perks up for round two.

"I need a shower," she observes and tries to tantalizingly roll out of bed and walk toward the bathroom.

The thought of a wet, soapy Kensi brings his manhood to full attention.

When Deeks and his impressive package join her in the bathroom she announces WWE style while raising her arms triumphantly, "And in this corner of the shower, we have the return of The Sex Machine!"

"You're cute. I love you," he says laughing at her antics as he grabs her waist and pulls her into the shower with him. It brings him joy to see that not only has her sexy and sensuous side returned, but along with it the goofy and playful side he loves to bring out in her.

"I love you," she returns wrapping her arms around his neck finally feeling like she has her pre crash life back, which is due in large part to the patience of this man who she loves so much.

* * *

A/N Whew! That was as hard as I thought it was going to be. It definitely wasn't easy trying to tap into Kensi's physical and emotional state and figure out what kept her from being intimate with Deeks for so long. I hope I did it justice. I also wrote a few great scenes and then accidentally deleted them before I saved them, which was frustrating. I think I recreated them pretty well from my outline and memory. Even though I proof read this many times, it is long, so I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes. It's my first truly M fic so please be gentle, but reviews are welcome. Thanks for reading, and thanks to everyone who has followed, favorited, or reviewed my stories.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Patient With Me (bonus chapter)

 **Rating:** M – for language, and sexual content (Chapter 1 is M, this one is more K+ or T)

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS LA or the characters. I just enjoy writing about them in this forum.

 **Summary:** A big thanks to Max and Fern 4ever for reminding me that I had a chapter in my head that I never got down on paper. In this chapter Deeks decides not to take Sam's advice and he tells Kensi that he's worried about them and about what will happen to their relationship if they don't start doing the things they enjoy together again so that they can reconnect. This could be a stand alone chapter, or it could fit into chapter 1 between 8x11 Tidings we Bring and Deeks' Birthday.

 **Setting:** This chapter is set after Kulinda (8x12), which for the purpose of this story happened after the Christmas party, but before New Year's Eve. This story also makes references to the first chapter in my fic Tidings of Comfort and Joy.

* * *

"Hey baby, what do you want to do tonight?" Deeks asks joining Kensi in the kitchen where she is trying to put peanut butter on toast with her left hand.

She shrugs, "We don't have to do anything. New Year's never ends up being as fun as you think it's going to be anyway."

"Sam and Michelle invited us over," he tries.

"I don't really feel like doing anything. You can go out if you want," she tells him softly looking like she is about to cry as she makes a mess with the peanut butter. For some reason she woke up feeling down, and she really just wants to wallow alone and not bring Deeks down with her.

"It's okay. We can stay in," he concedes. "Don't hurl that sandwich at me for asking this, but could you butter that with your left hand before your injury?"

After considering for a moment she answers with a deflated, "No."

"So it's okay then," he says gently as he reaches out and caresses her arm with the back of his hand.

* * *

"Want to come to the store with me?" Deeks asks that afternoon feeling the need to get out of the house. "I was thinking we'd pick up something good I can make for dinner. You can drive," he offers to sweeten the deal since she has been cleared by the doctor to drive again.

"Not really," she replies without taking her eyes off the TV which is playing Love Actually.

"Alright," he sighs. "I'll be back in an hour."

It's been a long holiday break. Kensi has mostly moped around the house and when she does go out for a run, she goes on her own. Deeks has tried to wait for her to come to him, but he's bored and lonely. When he returns from the store, he puts the groceries away and grabs a beer to take out to the backyard.

Kensi knows it's mostly her fault that she and Deeks are having such a subdued and boring holiday. She just can't seem to muster up any excitement and cheer for the season. She can sense it is wearing on Deeks, so after her movie she heads to the backyard to find him.

Unsure of how to start the conversation she sits down in the chair next to him bringing her knees up to her chest and asks, "Are you mad at me?"

"No," he answers immediately, but then has difficulty explaining what he is feeling. "I'm just...I'm just..."

"Just what?"

"I'm worried about us. We aren't doing the things we normally do together, so maybe that's why, you know, we're struggling a bit."

She's felt on the verge of tears all day and her eyes fill with them upon hearing Deeks say he feels that they are struggling.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes as she wipes away tears. "I didn't know you were unhappy."

"No, I'm not unhappy," he refutes reaching over and laying a hand on her arm. "I just miss you, and the us that does stuff together. I shouldn't have said anything. Sam said to give you some more time and you'd come around."

"You talked to Sam about us?" she questions with a hint of concern and embarrassment in her voice.

"He asked how we were doing. I figured he and Michelle have been through something similar and he may have some good advice. Plus, I guess I needed someone to talk to," Deeks explains.

"I know I'm not the most fun person to live with. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to be sad and angry about all the time and energy I put into physical therapy. I want to feel excited about life again and not dwell on what's been taken away from me," she shares hiding her face against her knees as she cries.

"I know Kens, I know," he soothes rubbing her back. "I don't want to push you or make you feel like you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling, and I know this is a difficult time of year for you anyway, but I also don't want us to drift apart."

She sniffles and nods her head to acknowledge that she's hearing him. She turns to look at him again resting her cheek on her knees.

"It's hard for me because I suck at everything. As much as I hate to admit it, i can't keep up with you right now. And also, it's hard to go out in the world and fake being happy when half the time I'm sad, tired, and frustrated."

"Kens, I don't care if we hike seven miles or 1. In fact, I'd prefer the 1," he jokes drawing out a hint of a smile from her. "I just want to do it with you."

"Okay, let's go out tonight," she decides.

"Naw, we don't have to," he responds continuing to rub her back and shoulder.

"Yeah, we do. I need to try for you, but for myself too," she insists.

"i have an idea," he says smiling. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do," she replies.

"You won't have to dress up or pretend you're all sparkly and happy, and you won't suck at it," he assures her.

* * *

Later that evening when they pull up at the soup kitchen Deeks first brought her to six years ago he checks in with her, "Okay?"

"Perfect," she confirms nodding her head.

Out patient physical therapy had been open on Christmas Eve so she had gone there while Deeks had come here. This is the first time they are volunteering together in quite awhile. While serving dinner Kensi connects with a man in a wheel chair, a blind woman, and many other adults and children down on their luck. Deeks notices when she cuts and serves cake her ability to grip with her left hand is improving. He also notices that she relaxes and forgets about her own difficulties while trying to comfort and care for others. As the night is winding down he watches Kens give her jacket to a teenage girl before the girl heads back out into the night air.

"There's my girl," Deeks comments holding out his arm so she can come rest against him.

She wraps her arms around his middle and places her head against his shoulder.

"I needed this. It felt good to focus on other people," she shares with him.

"I'm glad. You going to make it to midnight, or you want to head home?"

"You might have to fill me with some more sugar, but I'll make it."

"Okay, on to the next stop," he declares shedding his coat and draping it over Kensi's shoulders since she gave hers away. Then, he grabs a cookie off the table handing it to her as he takes her free hand in his. After a short drive they arrive at the skating rink they ended up at after the first time they volunteered at the soup kitchen.

"Back to the beginning," Kensi remarks when she realizes where they are.

"I figured it might help us reconnect. I think I knew even then," he reveals.

"Me too," she agrees softly feeling the flutter of the butterflies she gets in her stomach when he does or says something caring or romantic. She leans over to kiss his cheek.

"Just hot chocolate, or do you want to skate?" he questions as he comes around to her side of the car and reaches for her hand.

"Let's skate!" she decides.

After lacing up and clumsily walking to the edge of the rink, Kensi waits for Deeks to get on the ice first. He turns back to her and reaches out for her hands.

Since she is not the best skater, Kensi suddenly becomes nervous that she may fall and reinjure one of her injuries from the crash, so she asks as she places her hands in his, "You got me?"

"Always," he promises.

Soon they're laughing, spinning, and enjoying the festive atmosphere. Deeks never lets her come even close to falling.

"You're cold," she observes rubbing her hands quickly up and down his shivering arms to warm him up as they wait in line for hot chocolate 45 minutes later.

"Worth it," he replies sliding his hands around her back and leaning down to place a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Do you feel like it's getting better? Emotionally, I mean," he clarifies as they sit on a bench with their hot chocolates.

"Yeah, I think so. Even though I'm still sad and angry sometimes, I am more hopeful now. I'm still anxious about coming back, but seeing everyone at the Christmas party helped alleviate that some. Tonight helped to remind me that I have a pretty great life now and even thought it's hard sometimes, I shouldn't take it for granted," she tries to answer open and honestly.

"If there's ever anything I can do to help," he reminds her.

"You already are," she assures him.

Fireworks begin to go off in the park they are in signaling it's midnight.

"To a safe, healthy, and happy new year," Deeks toasts holding up his hot chocolate.

"To us and to making it a positive and happy new year," she adds.

They bump their glasses together and sip before leaning in for a kiss to welcome the new year.

* * *

A/N: So this was one of those stories that worked better in my head than when I actually tried to write it down. I decided to post it because I think it still has some good moments and some character development for Kensi. Thanks to everyone for the amazing reviews on chapter 1. I really appreciate them.


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